15th November, 2022
A man was an avid Gardner.
He saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the pots in his garden.
Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness.
The egg started to move and shake a little.
He was exited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now.
The egg started to expand and develop cracks. A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly.
The man’s excitement knew no bounds. He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out.
He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn’t resist his urge to help.
He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here a nip there to help the struggling life.
The pupa was out and the man was ecstatic!
He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly,
but Alas that never happened.
The larvae pupa had a oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died!
Depressed the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason.
His friend told him, the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings, and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it through its 4 week life cycle.
In his eagerness to help, the man destroyed a beautiful life!
Struggles help all of us, that’s why a wee bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life’s difficulties!
As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life’s harsh realities and disappointments.
We don’t want our kids to struggle like we did.
But Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges.
We’re sending our kids the message that they’re not capable of helping themselves.
My favorite parenting motto has always been, “Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.”
Yet even so, it’s hard not to be a ‘Snowplow Parent’ in an age of Snowplow Parenting.
It’s hard not to clear every obstacle in our children’s path so they can be happy now – getting what they want, when they want it.
But when we clear the road for a child, we make their life too easy.
We don’t allow them to build life-coping skills they’ll need down the road to handle life’s hard realities.
It’s hard to admit this, but part of a parent’s job is to help our kids not need us.
Most of all, I hope I can love my kids enough to not make their life too easy. It’s a tall order for any parent whose heart breaks whenever their child is unhappy, but one we must all work toward if we want our kids to reach their full potential as healthy and well-adjusted adults.
Lets not overprotect our children,
Let’s prepare our children for the road & stay Blessed forever!