13th April, 2022
When I was in high school and early years of my college, I was pretty shy and didn’t feel very good about myself.
Amongst other things,
I was very hesitant about asking a girl out for a date even though I had never been as such, rejected when it came to asking someone for a date.
If you had looked at me, you’d probably have thought, “He’s ok looking, but he’s certainly no Tom Cruise.”
My strategy was really quite simple, because of the fear of rejection, I never asked anyone out on a date.
Even during college hostel socials, I would rarely be the one to approach a girl for a dance. And what did I accomplish?
I felt horrible about myself. I knew that I had “wimped out.”
I felt powerless, and as you can imagine, I didn’t have a full social calendar.
I was actually sabotaging my success! Because I refused to face my fear, I used to feel lousy & remained in the background while most of my friends went out and were having a great time.
I wasn’t going to allow anyone to say “NO” to me. In reality I was saying “NO” to myself.
Can you see how my strategy of backing away from my fears worked against me?
If I had asked some girls for a date a few of them would have surely said “NO.”
But you know what? I wouldn’t have died!
I could have asked another person and another and eventually I would have gotten a “YES.”
It wasn’t until later in my study life and that I began to take some “baby steps” to confront this fear of rejection. Little by little, I gained more confidence.
Nobody’s life is different. Everyone has fears, just as we do. And when I look back at the early years of my life, you know what I see?
I see someone who achieved only some degree of success. But I also see someone who was shy, insecure, scared and self-conscious.
Does that sound to you like someone who now heads some institutions, writes daily motivational blogs and is the first to volunteer to speak at a public function and is the first to walk up and say hello?
What turned my life around and improved it a million-fold is that I learned to confront my fears and take action.
I realized after years of frustration and disappointments that hiding from my fears wasn’t getting me anywhere — and it would never get me anywhere.
Of course, I wouldn’t have confronted my fears if I hadn’t first developed a positive attitude. A “can-do” attitude provided me with the extra push I needed to take action.
When you believe you can do something, you have the courage to move forward despite being afraid.
Armed with a great attitude, I decided to become a participant in life and to explore my potential, even though I was scared.
From the very beginning, I felt so much better about myself. I had taken control of my life, and all sorts of possibilities opened up for me.
If I could give you a way to confront uncomfortable situations without fear or anxiety, you’d be ecstatic and eternally grateful, wouldn’t you?
Sorry, but there’s no such magical solution. I,or for that matter nobody can wave a magic wand and take away your fears.
You will have to muster the courage to do those things that you fear, but which are necessary for your success and growth?
The next time you face a scary situation, I suggest you take a different outlook. Most people start thinking, “I won’t be able to do this well and other people may laugh at me or reject me.”
They get hung up about how well they’re going to perform. Because of these worries, they decide to retreat.
While you should always go in with a positive attitude and prepare beforehand to the extent possible, don’t be overly concerned with the result.
Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear. You’re a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.
Another big fear that I had and have overcome successfully only some years back was the fear of Public Speaking. Shall talk about that on another day.
What is your biggest fear?
Acknowledging it is half the battle won.
Meanwhile, Face your fears and stay blessed forever.