‘The “YES, BUT” Syndrome’

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16th January, 2023

The start of a New year is introspection time, to look within & identify issues which need resolution.

Many people say, “This year I was all set to get my promotion BUT office politics got in my way” or “This time I was all set to get a big business order BUT my competitor stole my order”.

The three letter word “BUT” is a bit nasty by nature.

The truth is, he was not promoted and the truth is, he did not get the business order he wanted.

You may be in business or job, if your business is not increasing or you are not able to achieve what you want to, whether at work or in personal life, check whether you are hit by “YES, BUT” syndrome or not?

Introspect, tell the truth and start taking required action instead of swimming into the pool of reasons and thinking of excuses why you could not produce the desired result.

Every time when things don’t turn out the way you want, instead of finding reasons go deep inside your own self and get honest with yourself.

People who struggle are invariably more in love with reasons than results and actions. It is a frequent response that a person gives when something is suggested to him either voluntarily or on specific request.

In our business of wealth management, we hear these words very often, ‘Yes, I know it’s important. But I don’t have time / funds at the moment.’ This happens even if the investor has approached us for a plan.

‘Yes, but’ is a classic way of agreeing and not agreeing.

We often wondered, why does this happen? After all, the person has identified a problem and that is why he has approached us to find a solution.

We have, as advisor/consultants, realised that we need to have enormous patience and try to assist the client achieve his goal in small steps where he sees some benefit quickly and tries to get over his own self-doubting attitude.

This ‘condition’ often develops when one attempts to enter or re-enter into behaviour changes.

‘Yeah But Syndrome,’ or ‘YBS’  is often paralyzing, and prevents those afflicted, from moving into action, and instead they end up remaining in a state of inertia.

Eric Berne, the author of the book, ‘Games People Play’ identified this as a “Psychological Game” deliberately played  for the feeling of “Self-Gratification” that he is in trouble but there is nobody who can help him and he is doomed to suffer. Eric Berne goes on to add, ‘It is difficult for some of us to accept that we are playing a “Yes…But” game because we want to remain in problem and don’t want it solved.’

Resolving a “Yes..But” situation is more through  self-realization than with the help of a external person.

To truly achieve your goals this year, get over the excuses, the  ‘Yes But’ Syndrome and stay blessed forever.