10th Nov, 2021
I was recently reading, Daniel Kahneman’s book, ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ and came across a real nugget, “It is easier to recognise other people’s mistakes than our own.”
It’s easier to blame other people’s mistakes on stupidity and greed and our own on bad luck and circumstances. That’s mainly because when someone else makes a mistake, we judge it solely based on what we see. It’s quick and easy and we reach an immediate conclusion.
But when we ourselves make a mistake, there’s a long and persuasive monologue in our head that justifies bad decisions and adds important context and various excuses, which other people don’t see.
Most people behave like that and It’s become normal. But it’s a major problem in any relationship, because it makes it easy to underestimate our own flaws and become cynical about others.
As they say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” try to at least read a few chapters before deciding the critique.
I now try to consciously stop myself from passing a judgement whenever my explanation for other people’s behaviour is “well, they’re not very smart.” Or greedy, Or immoral, or stupid. It may actually be true at times, But probably less number of times than we assume. More often there’s something else going on that we are not seeing that makes the behaviour more understandable, even if it may still be wrong.
As I have often said, I try not to judge people, also because, ‘I have too many faults of my own and because I don’t know the battles they are fighting.’
Judging is for the weak, understanding is for the strong. Don’t Judge and stay blessed forever.