24th June 2024
Are you a people pleaser?
Do you find yourself committing, to too much to keep others happy, whilst sacrificing your own mental health, time and energy levels?
I struggle with this a lot, saying no can make you feel guilty and selfish, but of late, I have realised that it’s not selfish to look after yourself.
John Galbraith’s housekeeper was a whiz when it came to saying no. One day in 1965 the noted economist was taking a nap when President Lyndon Johnson called his home. “He’s taking a nap and has left strict orders not to be disturbed,” his housekeeper told the President. Johnson replied, “Well, I’m the President. Wake him up.” Her response? A simple: “I’m sorry, Mr. President, but I work for Mr. Galbraith, not for you.” Then she hung up.
Research shows that the more difficulty you have in saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression (three things that hinder your emotional intelligence). Saying No is indeed a major challenge for most people.
Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill these commitments.
Evidently, by embracing the power of ‘no,’ you can ensure that your time is spent on what’s truly important, allowing you to be more productive and less overwhelmed. Learning to set and enforce boundaries is a key skill in time management that leads to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
This strategy not only benefits your own well-being but also sets a healthy example for those around you, demonstrating the value of respecting personal limits and priorities.
Saying No can certainly open doors; for example, when John Galbraith woke up from his nap, the first thing President Johnson wanted to know was the identity of the woman who told him no. After he found out Johnson said, “I want her working for me.”
Damon Zahariades, in his book, ‘The Art of Saying No’ provides a step-by-step, strategic guide for setting boundaries and developing the art of Saying No.
Success is dependent on the things you do, but what is more important is to decide, the things you will not do, so that you can stop wasting time on them.
To succeed, you have to say No to a lot of good things, in order to be able to say Yes to a lot of great things.
Learn the subtle ‘Art of Saying No’ & stay blessed forever.