13th February 2025
t is Valentine Week & Love is in the air.
You must be wondering why we are talking about money in a week like this.
but Money matters are one of the prime reasons for stress in relationships & in marriage, a prime reason why couples drift apart.
Financial infidelity is a bigger cause for break ups than physical infidelity.
Many arguments stem from the feeling that either one spouse is spending too much or is trying to control the other’s spending.
Most couples spend more time discussing restaurant choices than money matters.
Seeking only positives and avoiding the tough decisions are signs of a toxic relationship. Seeing where you’re at on saving & spending should be a regular activity.
As an exercise, go over monthly bills with your spouse, meet your financial advisor jointly, review your portfolio at the end of the year, and discuss your achievement vis-a-vis your goals.
There is no one right way to handle cash. The trick is to find a way that works in your marriage. This comes by first acknowledging the role of money in any relationship.
Here are 4 things we have seen work for couples who are arguing & sparring over finances.
Firstly, having a heart-to-heart chat about money goes a long way. The more effectively you can communicate the plan for your future finances, the better it is.
Answer the following questions frankly and you will know where you stand in your financial fidelity with your partner.
• Do you make purchases & hide them from your partner?
• Do you pay cash so that the significant other won’t know what you spend money on?
• Do you have debt or bad investments that you are hiding?
• Do you share your credit score?
• Does your spouse know what to do & whom to contact in case of a financial emergency?
The 2nd step is to find common goals. Open the lines of communication.
You’ll gain an understanding of each other’s values about money. Set up a regular meeting to talk about family finances.
Next, do not force a financial conversation. It can be a very unpleasant thing to do when either is not in the mood. At the same time, if both are never in the mood then it gets postponed indefinitely. Avoid that too!
We know of couples who communicate about their finances via email or Whatsapp. It works best for them to each take the time to put their thoughts in writing, and then allow their partner to review & respond at a time that’s convenient.
Other folks like to sit down over dinner or chat while taking a walk. There’s no correct venue for these conversations, they just need to happen.
Finally, be generous. A gift or a favour goes a long way in keeping a relationship healthy.
Surprises are even better.
This Valentine week, fix a Financial Date, Discuss money matters with your partner/ spouse, come clean about money & stay blessed forever.
(Excerpts from our book,”What my MBA did not teach me about Money” now available on Amazon
https://lnkd.in/d7S2APn )